Human toxins are like the slow development of disease. We don't notice until it becomes so toxic we cannot survive. They erode our beings slowly over time. We sweep the toxic behavior aside, we forgive, we apologize, make promises, rinse, repeat. Even then some remain blind to the toxin because it has become our life. We cannot just abandon our life. Once I made the decision to go I had to go. I had to remove myself from the toxin. The relief this brought as I walked down the steps and out of my house was palatable. So refreshing was the joy and relief I felt that I knew without a doubt it was the right decision. Only when in the presence of the toxin do I have doubts. These dissipate much more quickly now. I can now read the signs and know what to avoid, to block, to stop. I feel more focused. More me. Change is good. Life is too short to remain in relationships that are toxic, whether we are the ones who are toxic or the other person. It may not even be that only one person is toxic. ...it is often that together we are toxic. Regardless, if your relationship contains constant acts of manipulation, emotional abuse, lack of intimacy (whether sexually or intellectually or both), possessive jealousy, distrust of any kind, it is toxic. To both of you. People cannot grow or thrive in these environments. Period. We are unable to reach the full potential of real love. Real love is not toxic. It causes us to bloom. To imagine our full potential and encourages us to live up to it. Love is meant to fill us, to make us more of who we are not less. We can fill ourselves with this love ourselves. We do not even need others to provide it for us. The more love we give the more is returned, and the more we have to give. Love grows when it is given freely, even if only to ourselves.
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