Cloudy Saturday Rambling (Old but currently relevant writing from 2017)

The last few months have shown me more than anything else how important it is to have this downtime with myself. I have the freedom to explore my feelings, about every damn thing. Maybe not every damn thing but certainly things that are impacting my life right now and how my instinctive reactions are triggered. The more aware we are of our triggers and our potentially destructive reactions to them the better we can manage our responses. To deliver them, or not, in healthy rather than toxic ways. As a person who has had a vast array of painful experiences from childhood throughout adulthood the greatest lesson I have learned to date is to always take responsibility for my actions and reactions. This means taking responsibility for my boundaries as well. I've long been a people pleaser within my personal relationships, personal boundaries have always been very difficult for me, to both set and maintain. I know this is rooted from my never being good enough as a child due primarily to the religious cult I was raised in. Can you imagine how this conflicted with my innate rebellious nature? I am the happy result. ;)
There is great freedom in knowing, accepting and loving who you are, all of it, demons and angels.
I also think that this is the only way to build real connections with others.

Flying in the face of the idea in this modern online messy dating world I believe that a real connection with someone will bring them back into your life or keep them there in some sense. We have many soul mates, those who speak with us at a soul level. If they do not then the connection was not real or a total disconnect was necessary for whatever reason. The reason does not matter. When the connection is real it remains. It is that text saying hi months after the last one. Or that flash of memory that brings a smile to your face. We are all here on individual journey's whether we want to be or not and we need to recognize that not all those who deeply touch our lives can continue with us on our journey in the manner in which we might desire. When we approach each relationship, each interaction as a learning opportunity without attachment to expectations we honor our own journey and the journey of those who stroll along our path for awhile. The only constant is change. Recognizing the impermanence of life is the key to letting go and letting be.  And most importantly, to doing so with love.